/late/ - Late Nights

Long nights, sleepy days


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Welcome to the new /late/!

Latestation is BACK: https://letslovela.in/late/


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i wish i had the capability to just pack up and leave. start a new life. or hell, just start MY life. i dont and never have felt alive here. i actually really like my town and enjoy what i do for work, but im horribly underpaid for what i do and im so lonely here. every night i have these flashes where reality hits me and i clearly see how unhappy i am with my life. i feel it without fail whenever the veil between waking and sleep is thin. it terrifies me. i only had two things keeping me here and one just did the very thing i wish i could do, she packed up and moved across the country in a single night with no warning. the other is the fact that someone is going to hand over a business to me after he dies. it feels like that’s my only bet at ever escaping the debt ridden trailer park life im expected to enter. 
I dont even know if it’s worth sticking around here to take over this business, i know i dont want to run it, but i desperately want to have stable income and housing in the long term. plus i would disappoint so many people if i left, and i know if i leave and regret it, i won’t have anything left to turn back to. thinking like that is my problem. how can some people just not care? how can i be like that? has anyone here ran away 2000 miles from home with no destination waiting for you?
Replies: >>4248 >>4256
>>4247 (OP) 
>has anyone here ran away 2000 miles from home with no destination waiting for you?
Yes. I'm living the result of that decision rn. I came all the way across the US hoping to land a job cold-calling, using nothing but a 'wing and a prayer'. I know I'm not alone in doing such a thing, but its been a painful ride over the past 3 years. Yet I'm still alive so far.

In fact, I mean to continue moving even further on (overseas) to follow an even older dream. I think there's a name for such men as that.
I packed up what little I had to move on a whim across the country - I met a woman on the internet and figured 'what the heck.' Not quite travelling at random but living out of a motel, buying a car off craigslist, and taking the worst jobs available was quite the experience. I failed hard but it was an interesting 6 months.
>>4247 (OP) 
it seems like you already know what to do here deep within yourself

of course it may be scary, but you can live a thousand lives in your lifetime! if you know deep down living there isn't best for you and it's fucking you over, go start a new life! if you still hate it, do it again until you're happy
i relate to you though. i badly need to leave my hometown as well
Replies: >>4260
>>4256
I think you’re right. Things seem to be aligning to give me an opportunity to leave. The main company I work for is going under. I just got a new car. I think if I can save up a bit more money before I lose this job, I’ll have enough to start off on a new life somewhere far away. At least for a little while.
I regularly fantasize about going elsewhere, but I have no lucrative job skills and suck at basic adult tasks.
Just get up and go. You clearly long for something. The easiest way to "not care" is to ask yourself if you'll be okay 20 years from now not knowing what would have happened if you went through with it.

Life is terrifying, and there is no textbook guide on when or how to do this. Just know that there is never gonna be a perfect time for something like this. You sound young, you can go off, make mistakes, and still live a happy life. 

Go listen to California Dreamin
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