>>45554
>imp
No.
>Amily
>Though the pathways of your lovemaking are well-worn, each kiss, each touch, and each playful caress of the genitals feels like the first time
Seems a little over the top romantic for a piss scene. It's kind of strange in how tender it is, it's not the aftermath of a romantic date, is it? This is just being horny at camp
>Scene is "Watersports" with the tooltip "Get a bit kinkier with Amily"
>Begins wordlessly communicating the drive for sex and watersports is a later element of the scene
On the one hand, this does do a good job of avoiding things like Revamp or the alice scene where it super awkwardly and strangely establishes "hey this scene is going to be about pissssss i know it's weird but let's do it"
Stuff like that is a big example of "don't do this, it's a bad way to start the scene"
However, the tooltip is pretty nondescript, it's not really conveying who is peeing, what's really going on with that, or so forth.
It really ought to be changed to "Fuck her until she wets herself in the ecstasy" or something like that, so the tooltip conveys what you're getting into.
Honestly I didn't know when I clicked that if she was going to pee on me while I'm masturbating, if I'm peeing on her, if there's a sub/dom angle, if piss drinking is involved, or what.
But on execution it turns out to be a really solid sex scene with a small and inoffensive amount of watersports in it.
it lacks some checks for cock size, has some word repetition, and a number of other little errors that make me think it was added before proofreading was a big part of the mod.
And honestly, if that's the case, you were one of the best writers to touch the game back then, hands down, no contest. It's all pretty solid as a sex scene, with the specific kink being a component and not the entire thing.
Actually, I have to admit, this is the best watersports scene I've read in any version of the game so far. Satan's ifris scene was similar in being solid as a sex scene and the watersports being more of a tertiary element, but that's not a watersports scene by design, it just has a small amount in it if you toggled watersports on(and while good, and his best display of watersports, asking him to do a scene focused on watersports(Izumi, shark daughter on gobbo as the two times watersports was the purpose) is pretty lacking. He's not into it, he doesn't get it, and it ends up mediocre). Your scene goes a little further, it's baked into the climax and a focus rather than incidental.
There's room for improvement, but I know now you're the go-to to get that kind of content.
The standard is higher now than it was years ago, but some refinement from the proofreaders should pull you up in short order. Your baseline is far superior to revamp and to lesbianon.
>Amily Watersports
>Written by: Conifer
>>Conifer
>Amily Watersports
>Gargoyle Watersports
>Hellhound Watersports
>Satyr Watersports
I don't see imp or goblin listed here. If you are Conifer, we should get that fixed. If you're not, then that's a bit of a dispute
I want to push the impression onto you that, if you did this Amily watersports scene, you are absolutely a writer I would hope writes more in general. Doubly so if the writing that you do is putting some niche kinks of mine in.