>>71755
>>71757
>You fracture her ribs with [if (feet) {a thorough kicking|a swipe of your [tail]}],
This list, let's rip into it. You fracture her ribs with a kick. That's a hell of a kick, and she should react hard. That's a mighty strike and she'd be winded, coughing, struggling to retake her breath that was just forced out, and squirming with pain as she has the compulsion to move, but moving exacerbates the pain in her ribs. She can't stand back up because bending would hurt. You can do so much to sell the impact but it's just part of a list.
>rip her hair out by the root,
Like how a bundle of sticks is harder to break than just one, a bunch of hair is a lot harder to rip out than a few strands. You could pull her hair and she really gets the rough play aspect of it, there's the learned instinct of this as a sexy act, but if you realy wrestle that hair hard and tear it from her head, that's a burning, yet chilling sting, and a heavy offense. Her body would be largely unharmed, so while it hurts, she'd not be any worse off to verbally lash out at you for ruining the silk that frames her wondrous face. Surely you must know some limits! Again, with order, it fits before before breaking her elbow, and the ribs are a pretty heavy impact to be doing so soon too, but you might be able to pace around it, especially with good dialog.
>tear at the velvety membrane of her wings with your [nails].
If you have claws, maybe, but I imagine they're pretty darn tough and not textured enough to easily dig fingernails into.
>Anything to draw just a bit more suffering out of this wretched demon.
And it's so ironic! You say anything to draw out more suffering while just glossing over all the fun of describing that suffering.
>By the end of it, her pure white flesh is absolutely riddled with bruises, cuts, and scratches, and she can barely pick herself off the ground, so many of her bones are now broken.
We're a fraction through this! What bruises? What cuts? Multiple bones? When did that happen?
I thought this was a ryona style snuff scene but you skipped all the ryona! You skipped all the suffering! I'm baffled.
>But, hatred lends you inspiration
That's so extreme! I just like violence and poetic justice, it's fun hurting her in a way that directly attacks how she looks, it's exciting, exhilarating! Why am I now a petty angry edgelord? That's why you scale back how hard you characterize the player. Some people just get off on violence, some are pissed at how narcissistic the ivories are, some could have any other reason. All you know in the scene is that the player likes violence, they want to revel in the physical assault, so you need to focus on the assault, not on how the player feels about it. The player knows how they feel about it, you don't have to tell them.
>couldn't save her. As you savor
This probably bothers nobody but my brain pinged "save her" and "savor" as repetition even though it technically isn't, they just sound the same.
>The rock that's going to kill her. Fast or slow?
Weird that this choice comes up—oh, it's a question of fuck the battered and bloodied succubus or just finish killing her. I don't think the buttons are good, it'd be clearer to say "Rape" or "Finish" or some such. The tooltip "Enjoy the last of her beauty" doesn't say enough.
>cock hard else wet
Genderless get a lot of options with the ivory and you didn't specify no genderless here. Should note that. [genitals] says anus if you have no genitals, iirc.
The rape is a let-down since it keeps mentioning how beaten she is while the beating was just so non-existent.
>Just in case, you punch her some more
Again just... No impact, no meat to it. Just "oh also some punches"
>You don't pay much attention to her reactions any more
You never did.
Full-on gore toggle scenes are like sex scenes of violence. You don't just say in a sex scene "you fuck her, and you pound her, you really fuck her hard" and then move on to the next part. You describe the sex. In a guro scene, you should describe the violence, not just