I spend a lot of time laying there thinking about inconsequential things that inspire me and make me happy. I think about my hobbies a lot and all the various ways I can improve and the projects I can create and how it all makes me feel emotionally passionate about life and living. How most people don't understand it, but that's what makes it beautiful.
I think about past adventures and how much they meant to me in that moment, wondering if the people I shared them with think about them as much as I do. They must, I'm sure. Right?
Often I'll be on about the ways I should have gone about the day prior. Opportunities to improve myself, missed. Chances at developing social skills lost to the wind. Then I'll think about moments where typical exchanges became so much more because I went out of my way and developed a relationship with a completely random person. I don't pat myself on the back enough for those and tend to fester up thoughts of disappointing exchanges that I, in my mind, wanted more from, but got nothing. Overtly critical thoughts keep me up in a depressing way. They can even cut into the hobbies portion. Maybe I'm crazy for truly enjoying something in life enough to pursue it for years. Maybe I should stop this hobby because everyone thinks I should. It doesn't make sense anyway, why go on? Why not just conform, it makes the most sense.
All of these thoughts keep me awake, which positive or not, are bad no matter what. My brother taught me a trick to get past them and fall asleep faster by thinking about an epic character of my own imagination in an anime esque setting going on adventures. This gets me away into dreamland.