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[Hide] (2.9MB, 1920x1080) With nothing to do but sit and wait as the ship starts warping through hyperspace, that's exactly what you do. Amidst the unwashed shirts and smelly socks, you think about your parents. Poor papà Cameltoegliacchi, who had to hide his last name like a state secret just to have a chance at dating. And your dear mamma, who as an inlaw never quite understood your plight, but always tried to be supportive and helpful in dealing with it. Have they noticed you're gone yet? Have they contacted the local authorities yet to look for you? Not that it would matter, since right now you might not even be in the same galaxy... How will you ever find your way home?
Your negative stream of thought gets interrupted as the ship moves out of hyperspace and an absolute behemoth of a dreadnought looms before you. This is a ship very few ever see, and some even say is just a tall tale, but everyone immediately recognizes by its trademark shape. That right there is the Vault of the Ratfink corporation.
Ratfink made a name for itself as a producer of quality mass media. Movies, series, games, music, you name it, they make it. They've also become notorious for buying out any up-and-coming potential rival companies (or performing hostile takeovers on those who won't sell) and for frequently increasing the scope and reach of copyright law, to the point where they now effectively have a strangehold on the galaxy's collective childhood. And everything they produce is only periodically available to the general public for a limited time, before disappearing into the notorious Vault.
Whoever could sneak in there wouldn't just have access to their regular work. There'd be copies of the original versions of all their edited works, or even the older works they've actively been trying to memory hole! In there, you might find the data for Hola, Eses!, for the unedited original Space Battles trilogy, maybe even the fabled Southern Melody! If these pirates figured out the Vault's location, which they obviously did, it's no surprise they'd try to break in and obtain this data. They'd be set for life with a torrent of the Vault's forbidden works.
The pitch-black ship seems to be under attack from other ships already. That makes sense, a job this size would be too big for a single pirate crew. Other ships also still seem to be flying in. It's a full-scale assault! So far the Vault's shield seems to hold up fine under the enemy's fire, however. It's also not firing back, which implies its crew might be busy calculating a course to escape into hyperspace. If so, time for the attackers is limited.
Your captors seem to have figured this out as well. All members station themselves to operate either a cannon or a keyboard, both to try and get the shield down in time. They've now wholly got their eyes on the prize, and you are all but forgotten between the excitement.
Wat do?
45 choices remain.
Merry Christmas, and sorry for the radio silence. Life got hectic.
Sadly, I don't see things improving anytime soon. But should I ever give up on this quest, I'll at least have the decency to let you guys know.