>>3606
>Why not rent your own place to be free of the abuse?
The cheapest rent here probably would eat up over 3/4ths or 4/5ths my disabilitybux before utilities; I'd have to eat nothing but beans and rice and probably couldn't afford Internet besides the cheapest phone carrier or even a free government phone/carrier. The cheapest around here is about $400/mo last I checked (which was over 6 years ago, so probably more like $600 to $800 these days; my old apartment on the mostly white boomer side of town were $700/mo for their biggest one-bedroom BUT that was over a decade ago, I don't want to imagine how much that place would cost now!) BUT that neighborhood is on the wrong side of the tracks in this 40% black ghetto town, where there's always break-ins and drug deals, and it's so far from any store or clinic I'd need to use the bus (oh hell to the no, not in this shitty city) or DoorDash.
I've decided not to do the homeless thing, or even seeking shelter because of too many unknowns and variables. Like you say, I can barely walk or stand more than 5 minutes at a time, I'm one of those who need those electric carts at a grocery store even though I can stand up (with great pain, burning in back and shooting stabbing down legs) to reach the top shelf when I need to.
>you probably qualify for some kind of reduced/free transportation service?
Unfortunately, as soon as I got disability I was disqualified from my old insurance that gave free rides to medical appointments. It's so stupid. And I only recently learned I'm only partially covered by Medicare (or was it Medicaid?), and I gotta wait a long time (yet again) for them to process my application for full coverage, and IF I'm approved THEN I could get free medical transportation again (and only to pre-scheduled doctor appointments). But until then, I gotta deal with what I gotta deal with.
Thank you for the well-wishes, anons. I'm just going to hope that new anti-psychotic (since I have "treatment-resistant major depressive disorder", something like that, so they prescribed me the stuff above and beyond anti-depressants and mood-stabilizers) they just started me on is enough to put up with this craptastic situation I'm in. This seems to be the least venomacid sweltering swamplands of the options I can think of: stay put and endure abuse from the demented and sadistic and sociopathic narcissist who pays for the current roof over my head (who seems to be going senile or alzheimer's or downright schizo in his growing rage and confusion the past few years; he's always been violently rageaholic and perfect martyred savior complex, but it's getting worse each passing month; I would have still been living in my own apartment with my own full-time job [which was slowly murdering my energy and drive, but less badly than my mentality is being crushed right now] and a decent car [I miss my Pontiac Bonneville] if I hadn't lost everything to the lockdowns, and then my health deteriorating so bad that by the time the lockdowns were over there was no way I could go get a new job), seek shelter in a temporary abuse victim house or similar church shelter, homeless, or do petty crime so I at least have free food and room in a police station to survive winter.
>>3607
At least my beetus isn't too bad -- before eating it's around 90-110, and after eating even a bunch of carbs it rarely goes above 160. At least that's not too bad compared to my way worse issues with fatty liver disease and high blood pressure, which has sent me to the emergency room twice last week when it was 180/150 one night then 200/100 the next morning, and similarly high the second time. I shouldn't have drowned my sorrows in $100 worth of Chinese takeout and slowly chowing down over two or three days. In fact, my crippling back pain came, somehow, because of my blood pressure.
I can't explain why and neither can my doctors, but when my BP hit over 200 ever since then I've been barely able to walk, or even sit for more than an hour or two and I gotta lay down for twenty minutes, and I'm wincing and gasping for air due to how badly my back hurts standing up, or sitting down, or walking to the kitchen or bathroom.
Yeah there's no way I could survive homelessness or jail in my bad of shape. I doubt they'd let me bring my prescriptions (multiple blood pressure meds, probably the only things keeping me alive) and my CPAP machine so I don't suddenly suffocate in my sleep.
As if losing weight weren't hard enough; how can anyone possibly strength train and hard cardio in this much pain? I can't even do the most basic bodyweight exercises like crunches and planks! Do I gotta beg for opioids and/or morphine just so I can exercise to help lose weight? I wonder if it's worth it to try and get back to the YMCA and somehow figure out how to do swimming for basic cardio, since I can't even walk anymore.